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My 'Twin'No matter how long we go without seeing each other
We always seem to click back together like seatbelts
We are like twins.
I wish we were twins. We could live together. Spend every minute together.
Get boyfriends together.
Fight everything, our depression, together in front of each other.
It'd be easier to fight these demons inside us if we were closer.
Besides, we make each other happy. We have this amazing talent...
Somehow we end up making each other laugh for ten minutes straight.
We get each other. We know what each other is thinking without even speaking.
I love you so much.
I wish we had more time to see each other.
We shield each other from the darkness we face everyday.
Talk to each other, make the light flash in front of us.
Although the future is precarious, we'll venture through and make it.
Our souls will have unmatched powers against the demons.
We'll smite them back and banish them.
Life is going to be sweet like cinnamon.
Bright like the sun.
Deteoriate"If only we had-"
He crossed the line right then and there.
I had to block out what he was about to say.
I couldn't suffer through the pain.
It's hard to think about him.
Not when he think so low of me.
We were so close.
Now we're so far.
I'm a planet in one galaxy,
He's another light years away.
Stars and darkness dividing us.
I feel that it is fully my fault.
I did everything.
I always screw it up.
He's always right.
But never told me what to do.
Now he doesn't even talk to me.
And for that person, to even bring him up,
Killed me again.
I had to quickly end the conversation.
I walked away.
I couldn't process the pain.
It was too much.
Time progresses but this always stay.
"People come and go out of our lives for a reason"
That seems all but a fallacy at this point.
Losing him made me incomplete.
Once you're truly best friends with someone,
they become a part of you.
It's relatable to a broken heart.
Except, you can fix that.
This, seems unfix-able.
I Know You WillI've become exactly the thing I didn't want to be.
The thing I feared. The thing I hate.
It's consumed me, heart and soul.
Drowned in darkness, now I try to rise up and run away.
I'm unstable, insane and worst of all indecisive.
What happened? How did I slip this far?
I can never make the right decisions anymore.
I'm back in this jail cell in hell. Now I'm back,
back to carving the amount of days into the rugged black rock.
I'll find a way to escape, by any means.
Life feels like a joke. There seems to be no goal.
Everything is an illusion. It seems good, until you see its core.
I can never learn from my mistakes, if I keep making the same ones.
Jeeze the stability keeps slipping away further and further.
When I try to get a grip again, it just slips out like putty.
I used to know what was best for me.
Now I can't even figure out what's wrong.
Everyone tells me I'm not ready.
I feel like I'll never be.
All the light in my life..... it's gone.
All I see is darkness. I'm sucked i
The FlowerA rose.
Except she isn't exactly a rose.
Pretty like one, but not simple.
There's a lot of depth to every part of her.
She's smart and hard working. She's had people treat her like dirt.
But, she picks herself up every single time. This girl doesn't give up.
She's a warrior.
But the pen is her sword. She's amazing and talented.
She is going places in life.
Especially since she knows how to play her cards.
Don't mess with her unless you really want to make a fool of yourself.
Because, she will find a way to prove you wrong. She's determined.
She's... a warrior.
I suppose that you could compare her to a flower, though.
The outer and inner petals, could represent her depth.
Pretty to look at, but watch out.
This rose has thorns. Become her enemy and you will be pricked by them.
The red petals are the fire and determination in her heart.
To not give up, to keep going, to achieve her dreams.
So watch out for her, because, here she comes.
Faded Lines.The escape.
My escape is ending is what I should say.
Soon, I'll have to return to reality,
And repeat a routine I never planned on having to do again.
Same thing, but a new place.
That's just great!
Starting over again.
Cuz what I needed was a fresh start.
A fresh start is what I wanted.
... It was all forced upon me.
Nothing was my choice.
It seems like the things that aren't my choice are the worst.
The "morphine" type feeling that staying cooped up created is virtually gone.
I feel like I'm on a low.
Trapped on the ground.
A dead body in a crime scene.
All I visualize is not being on control of me.
Wonderful. That's what I like.
I like being helpless, always doing things I don't want to do.
It was never necessary.
Again, I lied.
I should really stop that...
No RegretsNo regrets.
Nor will I ever have any.
Not about what transpired between us.
Because you finally learned.
Learned not to trust other so easily.
I"m glad you hate me now.
I'm glad you think I'm trash.
I'm glad you think I'm a horrible person.
At first, it was about me.
But then, I did everything I can. It was all for you.
You said you wanted to start anew.
But I knew there wasn't anything to start anew with.
All that there was, was ashes. Ashes and burnt things everywhere.
It was basically a wasteland, you were willing to deal with.
But I wasn't about to let that happen.
I did everything EVERYTHING I could, to make sure...
To make sure you wouldn't venture into it.
I made myself look like a horrible person, just so that...
You wouldn't get hurt.
Not anymore, you don't deserve that.
And karma will come back around and hit me.
But at least you'll be happier now.
It might take some time, and you're hurt now, but it'll be worth it, for you.
So I hope everything will be alright fo
Let's Reminisce About ThisThere's a secret that hasn't been told.
I've pretty much been dead for a while now.
What you see and know is a walking corpse.
Not like a zombie, because I function like a human.
I can eat and sleep and have emotions.
But, they all feel fake, unreal.
This an act of one huge long play, one where I'm the star.
But, the role isn't based on the real me.
It's some fake loser who barely gets by anymore.
Who feels dead inside.
Like the only thing alive in them is their heart and brain.
I miss the days when I was young and childish.
When I was free.
Free to do whatever I wanted, because I was blind.
Blind to what life was like. Everything went by in flashes.
Only blurs remain from my childhood.
But you know what? All I have are good memories.
The smell of spring, and the flowers, causes me to have an immense feeling of nostalgia.
It makes me feel oblivious to pain again. Puts a smile on my face, and that's when I feel 5,6,7 and 8 all over again.
I was always an outcast, but I didn't mind. That
Who You AreI see that part of you,
The part of you that you hope no one sees,
The part of you that makes you feel strange,
The part of you that you're not ready to face...
I see the dust on your shoulders,
You tried wiping it off,
But the residue is still there,
Sitting on you,
Making you question why you have these feelings,
They're natural and, no, you're not a bad person for them,
The fact of the matter is, you're NOT ready to realize it,
And that's okay,
One day you'll be ready and you'll realize it's not a big deal,
It doesn't define you,
It's like a small sliver of the big pie that you are,
So until then, keep up the facade,
Hide it behind the curtains,
Your friends aren't mature enough to handle it anyway,
They will be one day,
And if they aren't,
Then it is seriously time to get new ones,
People like that are ignorant because they want to be,
No judgement, they HAVE to learn one day...
Oh yeah, she's just a cover-up too,
Like a beard on a face or an animal's pelt,
No one would suspect a j
What Bad Change Feels Like, When A Liar Breaks YouOh yeah, I'm definitely different now
Different, from the person you knew,
You changed me, scarred me, made me miserable,
How dare you accuse me of being stupid or horrible,
When you don't even try to understand,
Understand the things going through my head,
Understand my emotions, my stress and my depression
You know what, you told me to leave you alone,
That we don't need to talk everyday,
Fine, we won't,
It's not like you care anyway,
I don't want you to,
See the thing is,
You were a dark thunderstorm,
Blocking the light in my life,
Making me feel like a loser in the dumps,
I felt more worthless than ever,
My point is, I don't need you
I DON'T WANT YOU,
I hope you're happy, because I am now,
I'm free, free from the terrible pain you caused me for these years,
I thought you were the one person I connected with,
But no, you changed also, you turned into a monstrosity,
A creature of darkness,
Who strangled me with your vicious tendrils of death,
You don't understand anymore,
YOU NEVER W
Unable to loveMy love was pure
I only wanted
But my heart
Because my love
Like a piece of garbage
And now I'm unable
Because the shreds
Of my shattered soul
MathematicsI am but the sum of my
F L A W S;
a network of
S C A R S
a disaster of
D R E A M S
a shield of
B O N E S
C A L C U L A T I O N
a void of
to the girl i lose my words aroundi have been meaning to tell you for years:
i think you’re beautiful. i have
seen nothing on earth that holds a candle
to the ocean you carry inside your body.
it spills over your edges sometimes, like
a rain shower around you, blurring your penciled-in
lines until there is nothing left of you but your natural
cliffs, valleys, and deserts.
i like that.
i have never met someone who is, somehow,
a sea and a storm at the same time.
maybe i never will again.
maybe you are the only one
who gathers clouds on her forehead
like a promise, or feels the push and pull of the tide
with her every step.
you are beautiful, honestly.
you are honest, beautifully.
it is in the way you talk, the way you hold ice
on your tongue but forget to use it—
you always forget to use it, i don’t think
you know how.
to be truthful, i’m afraid of your smile
and how it breaks over me, how it pulls
me like a whirlpool down, how it pushes me
like a current back to the surface. i’m afraid of
now i see the stars.there was a time when i
couldn't catch my breath whenever i
thought about you , (crippled lungs and-
boy, you hit me like an asteroid,
there's a crater on my chest now that I can't ever seem to fill,
oceans of my tears cried on
nights when you couldn't be there to sing me to sleep.
thirty two poemless days after you joined the constellations,
i walked out into the yard and howled to the empty sky,
for a moment i was Gaea, rivers running down my cheeks,
weighted to the ground and
buried in myself, but
where there is no light there are no shadows, and
sometimes, i wonder if i miss me.
yes, i do.
i may not see the moon, but
Abuse Is Sometimes NecessaryPush and pull at her long hair, topple her to the solid ground,
elbow her sharply in the raw gut, shove her harshly around.
Scratch him in the pale face, punch him in the broken jaw,
do anything necessary to him that's considered breaking the law.
And when she cries because you've punched her, let her be,
and observe her when she returns to her habitual smoking.
When she passes out next day, because she's drunken too much booze,
slap her in the face once more, though many would consider it abuse.
When he can hardly walk because he thinks he's high in the clouds,
rip the needle out of his arm, and with your nails, slash him across the sweaty brow.
Grab them and shake them till their battered and bruised,
tear at their heart, scream in their ears until you've reached the point of verbal abuse.
And when she falls into your chest, and he collapses to the ground,
pull them closely, and whisper, “We can turn this all around.”
And rehab is a necessity for all of you, because you'v
i am made of nights like theseativan boy, you cannot empty out this skull -
not with a pen nor with a bullet. you can
be my hallowed head(case) for spitting out
words like teeth; oh, but i will only love you
when you're weary. i will keep crows caged
between your lungs like veins, like palpitations.
i will rot you through bones & car radios,
but i will never get (you) out of your skin.
ScienceI am more than my
F L A W S;
a masterpiece of
S C A R S
a delicacy of
D R E A M S
a sculpture of
B O N E S
R E A C T I O N
a well of
Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)Good (Great, Greater, Greatest, You)
I hope the title caught your eye,
because this is about you.
Many of us speak in superlatives
and ambiguous language.
In imagery-laden text masquerading
underneath double entendres
keeping us from a part of the truth.
But purple streaks and red bands,
harp strings and soft hands
don't begin to explain
the love I have for you.
So I lay these words down
simple in its vulnerability,
blemished and raw in its purity.
The term lissome fits you in many ways,
but not necessarily it its textbook form.
I speak on the part that is not readily seen
but what is easily most cogent.
Your consciousness' cognizance
is graceful in the way
you fold one syllable over
another, supple in its meaning
that can take many forms
going from idle lies
to how we idolize hollow eyes
and uncovered hip bones.
Elegance is an understatement,
but I refuse to speak in cliche superlatives.
I speak honestly
but not with exaggerated grandeur.
Because your immediate app
A broken heartI promised myself I'll never fall in love
Whenever I fall in love I feel renewed and happy
But like a drug
Once everything finishes
I'm crying, depressed and the wreckage of my heart
I always end up feeling worse
I want to find someone that is special
But I'm afraid to suffer again
I'm afraid of losing another person
Do not want to suffer
Do not make me suffer, do not lie to me
Do not hurt me, no more
I will not hold on to people who only sink me
I'll be free and live with have left
A cold and lonely spirit.
Goodbye.You wanna know something funny?
You're in denial, you have been for a while now.
I don't see how you could be though.
With all the heartache I caused you.
With all the strife you had to go through.
You know I'm not into you.
It was all a lie.
Yes a LIE! That I told everyone.
At least, I knew.
You always come back, and so do I.
Thinking we could make it work this time.
But I know it won't, so do you.
So you should get out while you can!
I'm a heartbreaker.
This is what I do.
Don't let the black hole near my heart suck you in.
This isn't real.
This isn't even a fantasy.
It's a lie I told you. A lie you also told yourself.
This cycle won't end. I'll keep crushing you....
Over... and over.... and... over... again.
I'm trying to set you free,
Trying to get you to see the light.
I'll never love you, or even like you, I never have.
It's best we're not even friends, because that is also a dangerous gamble.
I might have to cut you off, for your own good, your own safety.
I don't want you to tak
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