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My 'Twin'No matter how long we go without seeing each other
We always seem to click back together like seatbelts
We are like twins.
I wish we were twins. We could live together. Spend every minute together.
Get boyfriends together.
Fight everything, our depression, together in front of each other.
It'd be easier to fight these demons inside us if we were closer.
Besides, we make each other happy. We have this amazing talent...
Somehow we end up making each other laugh for ten minutes straight.
We get each other. We know what each other is thinking without even speaking.
I love you so much.
I wish we had more time to see each other.
We shield each other from the darkness we face everyday.
Talk to each other, make the light flash in front of us.
Although the future is precarious, we'll venture through and make it.
Our souls will have unmatched powers against the demons.
We'll smite them back and banish them.
Life is going to be sweet like cinnamon.
Bright like the sun.
Deteoriate"If only we had-"
He crossed the line right then and there.
I had to block out what he was about to say.
I couldn't suffer through the pain.
It's hard to think about him.
Not when he think so low of me.
We were so close.
Now we're so far.
I'm a planet in one galaxy,
He's another light years away.
Stars and darkness dividing us.
I feel that it is fully my fault.
I did everything.
I always screw it up.
He's always right.
But never told me what to do.
Now he doesn't even talk to me.
And for that person, to even bring him up,
Killed me again.
I had to quickly end the conversation.
I walked away.
I couldn't process the pain.
It was too much.
Time progresses but this always stay.
"People come and go out of our lives for a reason"
That seems all but a fallacy at this point.
Losing him made me incomplete.
Once you're truly best friends with someone,
they become a part of you.
It's relatable to a broken heart.
Except, you can fix that.
This, seems unfix-able.
I Know You WillI've become exactly the thing I didn't want to be.
The thing I feared. The thing I hate.
It's consumed me, heart and soul.
Drowned in darkness, now I try to rise up and run away.
I'm unstable, insane and worst of all indecisive.
What happened? How did I slip this far?
I can never make the right decisions anymore.
I'm back in this jail cell in hell. Now I'm back,
back to carving the amount of days into the rugged black rock.
I'll find a way to escape, by any means.
Life feels like a joke. There seems to be no goal.
Everything is an illusion. It seems good, until you see its core.
I can never learn from my mistakes, if I keep making the same ones.
Jeeze the stability keeps slipping away further and further.
When I try to get a grip again, it just slips out like putty.
I used to know what was best for me.
Now I can't even figure out what's wrong.
Everyone tells me I'm not ready.
I feel like I'll never be.
All the light in my life..... it's gone.
All I see is darkness. I'm sucked i
The FlowerA rose.
Except she isn't exactly a rose.
Pretty like one, but not simple.
There's a lot of depth to every part of her.
She's smart and hard working. She's had people treat her like dirt.
But, she picks herself up every single time. This girl doesn't give up.
She's a warrior.
But the pen is her sword. She's amazing and talented.
She is going places in life.
Especially since she knows how to play her cards.
Don't mess with her unless you really want to make a fool of yourself.
Because, she will find a way to prove you wrong. She's determined.
She's... a warrior.
I suppose that you could compare her to a flower, though.
The outer and inner petals, could represent her depth.
Pretty to look at, but watch out.
This rose has thorns. Become her enemy and you will be pricked by them.
The red petals are the fire and determination in her heart.
To not give up, to keep going, to achieve her dreams.
So watch out for her, because, here she comes.
Faded Lines.The escape.
My escape is ending is what I should say.
Soon, I'll have to return to reality,
And repeat a routine I never planned on having to do again.
Same thing, but a new place.
That's just great!
Starting over again.
Cuz what I needed was a fresh start.
A fresh start is what I wanted.
... It was all forced upon me.
Nothing was my choice.
It seems like the things that aren't my choice are the worst.
The "morphine" type feeling that staying cooped up created is virtually gone.
I feel like I'm on a low.
Trapped on the ground.
A dead body in a crime scene.
All I visualize is not being on control of me.
Wonderful. That's what I like.
I like being helpless, always doing things I don't want to do.
It was never necessary.
Again, I lied.
I should really stop that...
Let's Reminisce About ThisThere's a secret that hasn't been told.
I've pretty much been dead for a while now.
What you see and know is a walking corpse.
Not like a zombie, because I function like a human.
I can eat and sleep and have emotions.
But, they all feel fake, unreal.
This an act of one huge long play, one where I'm the star.
But, the role isn't based on the real me.
It's some fake loser who barely gets by anymore.
Who feels dead inside.
Like the only thing alive in them is their heart and brain.
I miss the days when I was young and childish.
When I was free.
Free to do whatever I wanted, because I was blind.
Blind to what life was like. Everything went by in flashes.
Only blurs remain from my childhood.
But you know what? All I have are good memories.
The smell of spring, and the flowers, causes me to have an immense feeling of nostalgia.
It makes me feel oblivious to pain again. Puts a smile on my face, and that's when I feel 5,6,7 and 8 all over again.
I was always an outcast, but I didn't mind. That
Goodbye.You wanna know something funny?
You're in denial, you have been for a while now.
I don't see how you could be though.
With all the heartache I caused you.
With all the strife you had to go through.
You know I'm not into you.
It was all a lie.
Yes a LIE! That I told everyone.
At least, I knew.
You always come back, and so do I.
Thinking we could make it work this time.
But I know it won't, so do you.
So you should get out while you can!
I'm a heartbreaker.
This is what I do.
Don't let the black hole near my heart suck you in.
This isn't real.
This isn't even a fantasy.
It's a lie I told you. A lie you also told yourself.
This cycle won't end. I'll keep crushing you....
Over... and over.... and... over... again.
I'm trying to set you free,
Trying to get you to see the light.
I'll never love you, or even like you, I never have.
It's best we're not even friends, because that is also a dangerous gamble.
I might have to cut you off, for your own good, your own safety.
I don't want you to tak
Who You AreI see that part of you,
The part of you that you hope no one sees,
The part of you that makes you feel strange,
The part of you that you're not ready to face...
I see the dust on your shoulders,
You tried wiping it off,
But the residue is still there,
Sitting on you,
Making you question why you have these feelings,
They're natural and, no, you're not a bad person for them,
The fact of the matter is, you're NOT ready to realize it,
And that's okay,
One day you'll be ready and you'll realize it's not a big deal,
It doesn't define you,
It's like a small sliver of the big pie that you are,
So until then, keep up the facade,
Hide it behind the curtains,
Your friends aren't mature enough to handle it anyway,
They will be one day,
And if they aren't,
Then it is seriously time to get new ones,
People like that are ignorant because they want to be,
No judgement, they HAVE to learn one day...
Oh yeah, she's just a cover-up too,
Like a beard on a face or an animal's pelt,
No one would suspect a j
What Bad Change Feels Like, When A Liar Breaks YouOh yeah, I'm definitely different now
Different, from the person you knew,
You changed me, scarred me, made me miserable,
How dare you accuse me of being stupid or horrible,
When you don't even try to understand,
Understand the things going through my head,
Understand my emotions, my stress and my depression
You know what, you told me to leave you alone,
That we don't need to talk everyday,
Fine, we won't,
It's not like you care anyway,
I don't want you to,
See the thing is,
You were a dark thunderstorm,
Blocking the light in my life,
Making me feel like a loser in the dumps,
I felt more worthless than ever,
My point is, I don't need you
I DON'T WANT YOU,
I hope you're happy, because I am now,
I'm free, free from the terrible pain you caused me for these years,
I thought you were the one person I connected with,
But no, you changed also, you turned into a monstrosity,
A creature of darkness,
Who strangled me with your vicious tendrils of death,
You don't understand anymore,
YOU NEVER W
Death isn't a fresh perspectiveI saw my mother
swallowing something small
when I was just a child
The anguish in her eyes
faded, as she told me
it was just a
with a little extra kick
maybe years later,
that's how I convinced
to swallow fifteen,
give me a fresh perspective;
in the end,
my breath reeked
instead of mint.
Our Captain (Robin Williams Remembrance Poem)Oh, Captain
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You came to us as an Alien,
from the Planet Ork.
But through the Years,
You made Home in Our Hearts
We Saluted You over the Airwaves
We Watched You get Sucked in a Game,
And Haul Your Family in the Big Rolling Turd.
You were a British Nanny,
Who was actually their Dad.
A Business Man,
Who was actually Peter Pan.
A Crazy Scientist,
Making a Being called Flubber.
Who Just Wanted to be Free.
You were a Robot,
Made of Rusty Old Parts.
We’ve never had,
A Friend like You.
You became the Man of the Year,
And the Wax Figurine Exhibit
Of the Twenty-Sixth President
Of the United States of America.
You Were the World’s Greatest Dad,
And the World’s Greatest Therapist.
You Had a License to Wed
And be a Kid,
Who Grew Up Four Times Too Fast.
You only Won One Oscar.
But that’s okay.
We Love all Your Other Works Anyways…
We Will Miss You
fall in love with (splitting hairline fractures)we swallow blues instead
of talking them out. oh,
kids like us are specters,
spectacles: boys counting
rib(cage)s & (de)composing
don't you hate
is a vessel
we're deities or tomb-raiders; no
in-betweens for writers these days
Dark SideThere's another side of me
A side I barely show
It's my dark side
And my pride
The time I showed it to my friends
They were shocked, worried
I will tell you what they said
Decide for me
If these are what you call
One said 'just be happy'
One said 'that isn't true!'
One said ' but I've got it much worse'
One said 'don't be annoying'
One said nothing at all
Only One listened
That could be you
This is my dark side
The one that tells the truth
It makes me write
It keeps my dreams
It is everything I have
But no one knows
DoormatI let you walk
All over me
Like the floor
Beneath your feet
And I never complain
The floor doesn't
If the floor complained
When you walked on it
You would be very annoyed
And you would probably
So I don't complain
Because I don't want
To be replaced
And I let you
Push me around
Like a cart
Through a shop
And I never push back
The cart doesn't
If the cart pushed back
When you pushed it
You would get hurt
And you would probably
So I don't push back
Because I don't want
To be left alone
Now, and forever more
Who lets you
Wipe your feet on my face
I love you
But I question
If you love me back
Because who would love
A dirty old Doormat?
I died todayI died today
Took my own life
I was tired
I was desperate
And now I'm dead
People never cared
So I left them behind
Now a new life awaits
Beyond the gates of Hell
SkinnyI wish you'd believe me,
When I tell you you're pretty,
That you don't need to skip a meal or run 7 miles,
Just so you can be skinny,
You talk about how you hate yourself,
You wish you could be stunning, beautiful, gorgeous.
You think that if you looked like a model,
That you'd never be lonely,
Everyone would love you.
You think you d get that guy you ve been dreaming of,
Maybe mommy and daddy wouldn't be so harsh if they had a pretty little girl.
You re skin and bone,
But that is not good enough,
You need less and less,
And every pound that disappears,
You begin to lose yourself in a vicious cycle.
Until you re consumed and it eats away at you.
I beg you to listen to me,
I want you to know that you mean everything,
But you don't care,
And then when the ambulances came,
And carried you away...
There was nothing more I could say...
I guess you were unaware,
That you were already beautiful.
No RegretsNo regrets.
Nor will I ever have any.
Not about what transpired between us.
Because you finally learned.
Learned not to trust other so easily.
I"m glad you hate me now.
I'm glad you think I'm trash.
I'm glad you think I'm a horrible person.
At first, it was about me.
But then, I did everything I can. It was all for you.
You said you wanted to start anew.
But I knew there wasn't anything to start anew with.
All that there was, was ashes. Ashes and burnt things everywhere.
It was basically a wasteland, you were willing to deal with.
But I wasn't about to let that happen.
I did everything EVERYTHING I could, to make sure...
To make sure you wouldn't venture into it.
I made myself look like a horrible person, just so that...
You wouldn't get hurt.
Not anymore, you don't deserve that.
And karma will come back around and hit me.
But at least you'll be happier now.
It might take some time, and you're hurt now, but it'll be worth it, for you.
So I hope everything will be alright fo
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More