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My 'Twin'No matter how long we go without seeing each other
We always seem to click back together like seatbelts
We are like twins.
I wish we were twins. We could live together. Spend every minute together.
Get boyfriends together.
Fight everything, our depression, together in front of each other.
It'd be easier to fight these demons inside us if we were closer.
Besides, we make each other happy. We have this amazing talent...
Somehow we end up making each other laugh for ten minutes straight.
We get each other. We know what each other is thinking without even speaking.
I love you so much.
I wish we had more time to see each other.
We shield each other from the darkness we face everyday.
Talk to each other, make the light flash in front of us.
Although the future is precarious, we'll venture through and make it.
Our souls will have unmatched powers against the demons.
We'll smite them back and banish them.
Life is going to be sweet like cinnamon.
Bright like the sun.
Deteoriate"If only we had-"
He crossed the line right then and there.
I had to block out what he was about to say.
I couldn't suffer through the pain.
It's hard to think about him.
Not when he think so low of me.
We were so close.
Now we're so far.
I'm a planet in one galaxy,
He's another light years away.
Stars and darkness dividing us.
I feel that it is fully my fault.
I did everything.
I always screw it up.
He's always right.
But never told me what to do.
Now he doesn't even talk to me.
And for that person, to even bring him up,
Killed me again.
I had to quickly end the conversation.
I walked away.
I couldn't process the pain.
It was too much.
Time progresses but this always stay.
"People come and go out of our lives for a reason"
That seems all but a fallacy at this point.
Losing him made me incomplete.
Once you're truly best friends with someone,
they become a part of you.
It's relatable to a broken heart.
Except, you can fix that.
This, seems unfix-able.
I Know You WillI've become exactly the thing I didn't want to be.
The thing I feared. The thing I hate.
It's consumed me, heart and soul.
Drowned in darkness, now I try to rise up and run away.
I'm unstable, insane and worst of all indecisive.
What happened? How did I slip this far?
I can never make the right decisions anymore.
I'm back in this jail cell in hell. Now I'm back,
back to carving the amount of days into the rugged black rock.
I'll find a way to escape, by any means.
Life feels like a joke. There seems to be no goal.
Everything is an illusion. It seems good, until you see its core.
I can never learn from my mistakes, if I keep making the same ones.
Jeeze the stability keeps slipping away further and further.
When I try to get a grip again, it just slips out like putty.
I used to know what was best for me.
Now I can't even figure out what's wrong.
Everyone tells me I'm not ready.
I feel like I'll never be.
All the light in my life..... it's gone.
All I see is darkness. I'm sucked i
Faded Lines.The escape.
My escape is ending is what I should say.
Soon, I'll have to return to reality,
And repeat a routine I never planned on having to do again.
Same thing, but a new place.
That's just great!
Starting over again.
Cuz what I needed was a fresh start.
A fresh start is what I wanted.
... It was all forced upon me.
Nothing was my choice.
It seems like the things that aren't my choice are the worst.
The "morphine" type feeling that staying cooped up created is virtually gone.
I feel like I'm on a low.
Trapped on the ground.
A dead body in a crime scene.
All I visualize is not being on control of me.
Wonderful. That's what I like.
I like being helpless, always doing things I don't want to do.
It was never necessary.
Again, I lied.
I should really stop that...
No RegretsNo regrets.
Nor will I ever have any.
Not about what transpired between us.
Because you finally learned.
Learned not to trust other so easily.
I"m glad you hate me now.
I'm glad you think I'm trash.
I'm glad you think I'm a horrible person.
At first, it was about me.
But then, I did everything I can. It was all for you.
You said you wanted to start anew.
But I knew there wasn't anything to start anew with.
All that there was, was ashes. Ashes and burnt things everywhere.
It was basically a wasteland, you were willing to deal with.
But I wasn't about to let that happen.
I did everything EVERYTHING I could, to make sure...
To make sure you wouldn't venture into it.
I made myself look like a horrible person, just so that...
You wouldn't get hurt.
Not anymore, you don't deserve that.
And karma will come back around and hit me.
But at least you'll be happier now.
It might take some time, and you're hurt now, but it'll be worth it, for you.
So I hope everything will be alright fo
Let's Reminisce About ThisThere's a secret that hasn't been told.
I've pretty much been dead for a while now.
What you see and know is a walking corpse.
Not like a zombie, because I function like a human.
I can eat and sleep and have emotions.
But, they all feel fake, unreal.
This an act of one huge long play, one where I'm the star.
But, the role isn't based on the real me.
It's some fake loser who barely gets by anymore.
Who feels dead inside.
Like the only thing alive in them is their heart and brain.
I miss the days when I was young and childish.
When I was free.
Free to do whatever I wanted, because I was blind.
Blind to what life was like. Everything went by in flashes.
Only blurs remain from my childhood.
But you know what? All I have are good memories.
The smell of spring, and the flowers, causes me to have an immense feeling of nostalgia.
It makes me feel oblivious to pain again. Puts a smile on my face, and that's when I feel 5,6,7 and 8 all over again.
I was always an outcast, but I didn't mind. That
Goodbye.You wanna know something funny?
You're in denial, you have been for a while now.
I don't see how you could be though.
With all the heartache I caused you.
With all the strife you had to go through.
You know I'm not into you.
It was all a lie.
Yes a LIE! That I told everyone.
At least, I knew.
You always come back, and so do I.
Thinking we could make it work this time.
But I know it won't, so do you.
So you should get out while you can!
I'm a heartbreaker.
This is what I do.
Don't let the black hole near my heart suck you in.
This isn't real.
This isn't even a fantasy.
It's a lie I told you. A lie you also told yourself.
This cycle won't end. I'll keep crushing you....
Over... and over.... and... over... again.
I'm trying to set you free,
Trying to get you to see the light.
I'll never love you, or even like you, I never have.
It's best we're not even friends, because that is also a dangerous gamble.
I might have to cut you off, for your own good, your own safety.
I don't want you to tak
Who You AreI see that part of you,
The part of you that you hope no one sees,
The part of you that makes you feel strange,
The part of you that you're not ready to face...
I see the dust on your shoulders,
You tried wiping it off,
But the residue is still there,
Sitting on you,
Making you question why you have these feelings,
They're natural and, no, you're not a bad person for them,
The fact of the matter is, you're NOT ready to realize it,
And that's okay,
One day you'll be ready and you'll realize it's not a big deal,
It doesn't define you,
It's like a small sliver of the big pie that you are,
So until then, keep up the facade,
Hide it behind the curtains,
Your friends aren't mature enough to handle it anyway,
They will be one day,
And if they aren't,
Then it is seriously time to get new ones,
People like that are ignorant because they want to be,
No judgement, they HAVE to learn one day...
Oh yeah, she's just a cover-up too,
Like a beard on a face or an animal's pelt,
No one would suspect a j
What Bad Change Feels Like, When A Liar Breaks YouOh yeah, I'm definitely different now
Different, from the person you knew,
You changed me, scarred me, made me miserable,
How dare you accuse me of being stupid or horrible,
When you don't even try to understand,
Understand the things going through my head,
Understand my emotions, my stress and my depression
You know what, you told me to leave you alone,
That we don't need to talk everyday,
Fine, we won't,
It's not like you care anyway,
I don't want you to,
See the thing is,
You were a dark thunderstorm,
Blocking the light in my life,
Making me feel like a loser in the dumps,
I felt more worthless than ever,
My point is, I don't need you
I DON'T WANT YOU,
I hope you're happy, because I am now,
I'm free, free from the terrible pain you caused me for these years,
I thought you were the one person I connected with,
But no, you changed also, you turned into a monstrosity,
A creature of darkness,
Who strangled me with your vicious tendrils of death,
You don't understand anymore,
YOU NEVER W
How to be Populardon’t talk
go to parties
listen to friends
go with the flow
drink some more
don’t let them see the tears
as you cry yourself to sleep
for the most important thing
is to be popular
Forgiveness takes twoThe words are struggling
to tumble off my tongue,
and despite having
a fleshy cushion
to rest on,
they stain my teeth
and sting like acid
"I'm sorry," I stutter,
but the bitter taste
doesn't leave my tongue-
not because the words weren't true,
but because I know
I won't hear,
Mommy Is A Super HeroMommy Is A Super Hero
Standing before his class, he held his tiny report,
“Who is your super hero?” Was written in yellow chalk on the green board.
Exhaling his breath, the curly haired boy closed his little eyes,
“Don't be ashamed of yourself” His mother's words rung in his ears, “And don't ever cry.”
He began to read aloud, with a shaky voice.
to his class, he told his mother's story.
At age fifteen, she was a beauty queen,
the most beautiful girl in all of the world.
She flaunted her silky hair, bore her bare legs,
prided her breast. The boys treated her like she was a treasure chest.
They respected her rules, they “looked, but didn't touch”,
but there was one older man, who from her, wanted too much.
All alone he met her, he approached her in the alley,
and all his mother told him, was that this man had treated her badly.
But what the boy didn't know was that she was taken against her will,
and that two months later, she turned up ext
cenotaph of stormsthe first thunderstorm
was triggered by a blunt pair
of scissors, sparking violently
against the lightning,
shaking in the wind.
the downpour pierced,
tattooed with no ink but
the dark bleakness
of an overcast morning,
infiltrating uniformed wrists.
hid behind the music block,
shaky raindrops rioting
fears, she fractured.
the second storm
wept a two year downpour
outline that dripped from wrist
to hip, sidelong silhouette glances
obscured by the rain.
stalictidal waves shuddered
frozen, until icy glass
fell in stained shards from
the stillness inside.
thinner, brittler, growing
in flurries of sleet and hail,
her outline was never filled,
though the floods threatened
the third thunderstorm
was a mist-ridden melancholia,
a dream for permanence
smeared in ink through
fueled by the hope
that just this once,
the rain would spark a
rebirth beneath the ground.
instead, a tsunami
washed away the ink
as tides so often do.
The sound of silenceThe sound of silence,
Is so deafening,
That it makes my ears ring,
With the cacophony of my own insanity.
Being afraid to speakThe unpleasantries of past events
Were driven by the voices of contempt
Leaving me breathless
To that effect, I was left senseless
And when I laid under the covers
As I tried to warm myself from the cold stares
I shiver, as my skin turned white
By the solace of silence
But, as I overcame their sadness
I learned to embrace the cold
Until I was able to give warmth to others
Ideationlocked in a room
with only one escape,
or so it seems.
your hands shake and you drop the key.
Suddenly you're unsure.
Do I want to pick it up?
Do I want to find it?
Do I want to leave?
you think to yourself
there's no other choice.
find the key or corrode, or rust
wear down the hinge
use sadness as the key.
You have the answer now.
Just open the door.
Just walk outside and don't look back.
Let yourself leave with no regrets.
And yet you can't.
You're afraid, you think,
but you are actually strong.
Don't run away.
Don't take that leap.
The FlowerA rose.
Except she isn't exactly a rose.
Pretty like one, but not simple.
There's a lot of depth to every part of her.
She's smart and hard working. She's had people treat her like dirt.
But, she picks herself up every single time. This girl doesn't give up.
She's a warrior.
But the pen is her sword. She's amazing and talented.
She is going places in life.
Especially since she knows how to play her cards.
Don't mess with her unless you really want to make a fool of yourself.
Because, she will find a way to prove you wrong. She's determined.
She's... a warrior.
I suppose that you could compare her to a flower, though.
The outer and inner petals, could represent her depth.
Pretty to look at, but watch out.
This rose has thorns. Become her enemy and you will be pricked by them.
The red petals are the fire and determination in her heart.
To not give up, to keep going, to achieve her dreams.
So watch out for her, because, here she comes.
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Endorell-Taelos is very well known within the community for her selfless giving and gracious community spirit. Since joining DeviantART over seven years ago, Alicia has continued to make a positive impact on many deviants. Her helpful and thoughtful approach was one of her finest attributes when serving as a Community Volunteer, and this has continued throughout the many contests which Alicia provides on a regular basis. As we approach our Birthday celebrations, we can't... Read More